Fear
by Difficult-notImpossible
Summary: "'I'm scared Sam. Really scared.' He's terrified, really. More than he wants to be." Dean ponders over his deal with the crossroads demon.


_Okay... so this is my first ever Supernatural fic... well... its not a fic, more like a drabble... :P I've been way too obsessed with this show and its been taking over my mind forever... So here is one of many of my SPN works.. if you guys like it enough, i might just post my others :) this is all new to me... so just tell me what you think :)_

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><p>-Fear-<p>

"_I'm scared Sam. Really scared."_

He's terrified, really. More than he wants to be. The thought of death isn't a light matter, and the thought of being in hell for the rest of eternity is no better. Every day that he wakes up is one less that he has in this life, and he doesn't want them to end. He doesn't want to leave Sam alone, and even though he continues to tell himself that he did the right thing making that deal, there's a voice in the back of his head—that sounds an awfully lot like his father—telling him that he's failed in fulfilling his father's last words.

"_I'm scared Sam."_

Sam is still upset with him, but Dean knows that he'll never understand. He didn't understand why John would give his own life up for his son's, but now he is starting to. For a minute a smile crosses his rough features as he wonders if he'll run into his dad down there in hell, but then he remembers that hell isn't about family reunions and happiness. It's all misery and torture and pain and fire.

"_Really scared." _

Sam is set on finding some sort of loophole in the deal, but he knows that he's not going to find anything. Dean was given a year, and a year he will last. Not a second later. He watches silently as his little brother hunches over his laptop and countless books, he witnesses as they question demons and torture demons, and he sees that determination in Sam's eyes that he's never seen before. He wonders if it's determination or denial, and ends up deciding that its denial. Sam can't handle the fact that Dean would give his soul for his. He doesn't understand why Dean would give away his life right after John managed to give it back to him, but Dean knows what he's doing.

And yet, the older Winchester still wishes that Sam would find that loophole that he wants, because despite what his lips say, or what his eyes show, Dean is petrified.

"_I'm scared Sam." _

Today marks the year since he's given his soul, and it also marks the day that he will be taken from one life to another. An eternity of suffering and pain. He's sitting in the Impala, staring off into the distance. His hands clench around the steering wheel to avoid the trembling of his body, and his jaw clenches as a tear leaks from his emerald eyes. He's not ready yet, he needs more time, and he wants it. But his wishes won't be fulfilled. He's leaving nothing but Sam behind, and the realization makes another tear stain his face.

"_I'm scared Sam."_

He's pinned to a table unable to move, green eyes glaring at the queen bitch standing next to his brother. This was so not how he planned on spending his last moments on earth. He manages to throw a couple of snarky comments and bad mouth the demons, but soon enough he hears the growling and knows that he's dying. He sees them burst in, and they're on him before he can realize what's going on.

It's more painful then he imagined, and despite the fact that he already knows how he's going to end, he tries to get away. Sam's cries hurt more than the claws of the hellhounds, his pleas toward Lilith draining him more than the blood that's spurting out of his body. He tries to come up with something o ease his little brother's pain, but all that's escaping his lips are the yells of agony as the hounds feast on his skin and tear him to shreds.

He chokes on the horrid taste of his own blood, and he can see his arteries spurting the life out of him. It's a horrible feeling, and he just wants it to be over.

So he surrenders himself over.

"_I'm scared Sam. Really Scared."_

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><p><em>Please review!<em>


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